While putting a child up for adoption is sometimes the best choice for the biological parents and the child, the actual act of relinquishing the child to the adoptive parents can be very difficult. So difficult, in fact, that it's not unheard of for a birth mother or father to change her or his mind about giving up the child at the last minute. Although you may be firm in your decision to put the child up for adoption, the emotional fallout related to actually physically giving up the kid may be too much to bear. Here are a few things you can do to ease the process.
Minimize Contact with the Baby
If you decided to have a closed adoption where you won't receive any information about the child once he or she has been given to the adoptive parents, then you may want to avoid looking at or holding the baby to minimize the risk of bonding with the child. This may sound heartless, but there are two strong reasons for taking this route.
First, evidence suggests mothers are wired to bond to their babies. It's been discovered that babies secrete pheromones similar to the ones secreted by adults to attract and fall in love with their mates. These pheromones are designed to ensure moms similarly become attached to their babies, ensuring they will care for them. These pheromones are so powerful that 90 percent of women in one study were able to recognize their babies by scent alone, even after spending as little as 10 minutes with them.
The second issue is that you'll experience a host of emotions before, during, and after giving birth. Medication, pain, and stress may also affect your thought processes. It's perfectly normal to start thinking you may have made a mistake agreeing to put your child up for adoption during this time. However, the more time you spend with the child, the higher the risk you may develop a bond with him or her that may make it extremely difficult to hand the baby over to the new parents. So minimizing contact may ease the anxiety associated with giving up a child and make it easier to sign the papers.
Surround Yourself with Support
Another thing that can help ease the relinquishing process is to ensure you are surrounded by supportive people. Having friends and family members around who can comfort you and remind you as to why you're putting the child up for adoption can be immensely helpful. If you can afford to, or the insurance policy covers it, talk to a professional counselor who can help you work through the emotions you may be struggling with regarding giving your child up for adoption.
The more support you have, the more comfortable you may feel about going through with the adoption and the easier it may be to hand the child over.
Connect with Other Mothers
Talking to other parents who have put their children up for adoption can also help you get through any difficulties you may be struggling with. Many birth parents will have experienced the same emotions and misgivings you are going through, and thus can provide some support and understanding that you may not be able to get from friends and family members who have never been in the same situation. The adoption specialist helping you with your case should be able to furnish you with names of local support groups that you can join.
Putting a child up for adoption is tough choice for many parents, but one that's often best for all parties involved. For more tips on getting through the relinquishing process, contact an adoption specialist like those at http://www.achildsdream.org.